by Hans ten Cate
Monday, 11 September 1995

John Cleese made a brief video-taped appearance on the "Late Show with David Letterman" earlier this year (May 18, 1995). This was during David Letterman's one-week performance in London, England, where he taped five episodes of his late night talkshow. David Letterman's one-week special occurred during the week that John Cleese and fellow "A Fish Called Wanda" cast members were in England to start production on "Fierce Creatures," the follow-on film to "Wanda." Jamie Lee Curtis also appeared on the same show and talked briefly about the film.

John Cleese appeared just long enough to present that day's Top Ten List. So here it is: Ye Olde Top Ten "Reasons John Cleese Could Not Be On Our Program" as read by John Cleese via videotape (May 18, 1995) ...

10. "Mother won't let me."
9. "I have to wash my hair tonight."
8. "It's my turn to be a witness at the O.J. Simpson trial."
7. "My recent marriage to Larry King."
6. "I'm busy rehearsing my one-man show, 'Congressman! A Tribute to Sonny Bonno.'"
5. "Tonight's the night I bowl with the royals."
4. "I've heard your dressing rooms have rats the size of beagles."
3. "I have a nasty case of don't-want-to-be-on-your-worthless-program-itis."
2. "I'm getting ready to host next year's Oscars."
1. "Frankly, I haven't the slightest clue who David Lettersby is."