TERRY JONES - BACK IN THE HOSPITAL
by Darryn "Dazz" Hall, posted on PythOnline (New Stuff)
Wednesday, 10 April 2002
This article originally appeared on Pythonline

Poor Terry J.

Mere weeks after enduring major hip surgery, our favourite historian has yet again had to sample life as a patient of the British hospital system. The food there must be good.

Or, perhaps, the nurses.

The reason for the stay this time, however, is a closely guarded secret*. But we CAN say that it does not involve cosmetic surgery. Well, unless it is to his wallet. Personally, we are of the opinion that TJ has found that the only place he can get any peace and quiet is in a secluded ward of one of Her Majesty's hospitals. And why not; people have gone into these type of places at age seven for an ear infection and have been found 50 years later on the same trolley with terminal bed-sores. Can't get more peaceful than that.

So, the news we can pass on is this: Terry Jones is in hospital. He is recuperating well after surgery and is expected to make a full recovery. He is comfortable. He is smiling. He is, in fact, feeling just dandy. His doctor, a rather confused looking young man with coke-bottle glasses, a Hitler mustache and what appears to be a hankerchief on his head, has instructed TJ to lay up for another week or so. Further, he (TJ) cannot wait to get back to his office to continue to educate and entertain his fans in the way that only he can; if the janitor has not swept up the breadcrumb trail he left as a marker to finding his way out of that god-awful place, that is.

We are also instructed to tell you that as an alternative to watching British daytime soaps, which are merely Australian evening soaps tarted up as 'prime English viewing and a complete guide to how Australian teen- agers cope with angst far from the Mother-Land', TJ has had a rather lovely time watching the crowds lining up to see the Queen Mum laying in State....which just goes to show that spending the day watching people shuffle past at about 0.3 mile an hour is far preferable to seeing what Madge and Co. are up to on 'Neighbours'.

Anyway, as PythOnline is dedicated to fan interaction**, we invite you to wander over to the message boards on 'ChitChat' and drop a 'get well soon' note for TJ under the 'Jonesville' forum.

Take care Jonesy.

END OF TRANSMISSION

* In other words: WE know what the problem is, but we can't tell you. Maybe it was the water in Italy. Or the food in Paris. Then again, was it the farm animal incident in Bath? Perhaps the delayed aftershock of surviving his last trip to California?
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** Whatever THAT means. Look, be a love and bugger off, will you? We don't have all day to type out these sodding footnotes for your amusement, you know.