by Darryn "Daz" Hall - posted on PythOnline, 1 May 2002
Thursday, 9 May 2002

This was posted by Daz in follow-up to the April 10 announcement that Terry Jones was back in the hospital for an undisclosed procedure. The procedure is now no longer undisclosed.

This article originally appeared on Pythonline

Good News!

Our favourite historian is alive and well. After his recent health scare which sent him into hospital for a short time, TJ is now doing just fine. TJ's assistant, Ms. Jessica Tipping, reveals the truth behind Terry's fondness for hospital visits:

"In a moment of rashness he let slip the real reason for his stay in hospital - not the food, not even the nurses, but those lovely white hospital stockings he gets to wear."

Of course, the fact that he again had the chance to spend a considerable amount of time wearing those lovely white hospital stockings was complete compensation for the fact that he had to submit himself to the surgeons knife. Sadly, the need for the operation was a rather nasty bowel obstruction. This brings a timely and welcome reiteration of the old saying, "If you don't shit, you die."

Now, some people have always wondered - "What kind of man IS Terry Jones? I mean, deep down inside, what kind of stuff is he made of?"

Well, due to the wonderful camera work of Dr. L.S. Gumby, and the permission of Terry himself to expose his insides for the world to see, for the first time ever, we can show you EXACTLY what TJ is made of. Some people might be tempted to make comments involving a certain Mr. Creosote-like similarity; any and all such comments will be laughed at heartily for a short period of time.

Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time ever, the uncut, uncensored, larger-than-life, pre-dinner spoiling, gag-reflex inducing, guts of a Python!

"Can we have your liver?"
"Mr. Creosote? Don't make me laugh."